Monday, April 2, 2012

Just Sayin'

Today we found out both of the boys' names.
Actually we already knew Doyle's name, but Fischer's we found out this morning.
It may sound strange, but it made me feel instantly closer to him.
It's so nice to know something else about the little boys we hope to adopt.
It's pretty much all we know right now-- so it's a big deal.
Surprisingly though,
we are not sure if we will keep their names.
I know I know-- we have usually kept the kids' names or something very close or the English equivalent, but this time we may not.

When we first began adopting, we felt that we should keep our children's birth names since we were taking everything else away from them-- their language, their country, everything they were used too.
Then when we began adopting through a disruption-- we kept their names too even though they were not necessarily the names they were given at birth.
Then we Americanized Denis pronounced like Denise to Dennis and we call Alexei-- Alex because no one can pronounce it the Russian way.
And Paul was called Pasha and Anastasia was called Nastia.  We just Americanized their names.
So did we "technically" keep their names?
Did we do them any favors?
Paul just came in to kiss me goodnight.
I decided to ask him if he would have preferred that we keep his name Pasha.
He said he didn't really like that name.  Paul sounds so much better he thinks.

At this point, we are not going to make any decisions until we meet them.
We are pretty certain they don't go by their legal names anyways since little kids usually go by the child like endearing version anway.
Anya was Anyithcka.
Alexei was Losha.
Pavel was Pasha.

Who knows-- Fischer may look like a Timothy or a David, or an Anatoly, or a Bogdan.  And the name Fischer has grown on us.  I can't even imagine what Dennis and Alex are going to say when we introduce Doyle and Fischer by different names.
Oh I haven't had this much fun with names since i was pregnant with Jonny.
We'll just have to wait and see!
Guess what?
12 pieces of the puzzle frames have been sold!  (Only 24 left!)
It touches my heart and makes me smile when I think about how far we have come in such a short time.
Just three months ago we began this journey.
Three months ago it was hard to imagine how the Lord would work things out.
And yet He has.
And He continues to pave the way to our boys.
And I have to tell you-- each time I get an uplifting email or I see another donation towards the boys' ransom, or someone out of the blue asks to buy a sticker decal long after I first posted about them-- I am still in awe.  Each time. 
Thank you.
Thank you for your gift of encouragement.  Thank you for your outpouring of love.
Thank you for your friendship.  Your understanding.  Your passion for orphans and adoption.
Thank you for the love and support we feel with each beautiful gesture. 
Now. . . 
Time to be honest.  Time to share my feelings.
Time to think out loud.

Two little boys are joining our family very soon.
I am excited.  I feel incredibly blessed.  And yet I wonder how everything is going to come together.  How quickly will it take them to feel at home?  To trust me?  To adore Daddy?  To love all their siblings?
To rest peacefully in our arms?  To enjoy a bubble bath?  To allow their big brothers to pull them in the wagon?  To eat pizza?
So many things that we take for granted, yet I remember like yesterday what a big deal each of these milestones were for our little Dennis.
Doyle has a few physical challenges with his hands and feet and a repaired cleft palate.  He reminds John and I so much of Dennis.
Will he need as many surgeries?  Should I stick him in pre-school immediately or keep him at home for a year?  I'm thinking school can wait. He needs to be home-- to play, to stay close, to get to know us.
I need to be his Mommy.  I want to know if he likes peanut butter.  Is he right handed or left?  Does he like Little Bear or Bob the Builder?  Is he a cuddler?  Does he like music?
And then there is sweet little Fischer.  He has Down Syndrome.
I imagine what he will be like, but I really have no clue what to expect.
A little boy I feel hardly equipped to raise-- and yet I am super excited to have the privilege to give it my all! 
I might be familiar with raising kids, adoption, and special needs-- but I need to humble myself because I am not familiar with Doyle and Fischer.  They are unique-- one of kind.
And I already know I am going to fall short.
I already do everyday.
Oh thank goodness, I am not doing this alone.  
John and I are not doing this alone.  
We heavily rely on God to help us through our days.
He is full of grace.
I don't know about you, but I need that. 
It will be no different when Doyle and Fischer are home.

Just sayin.

Thanks-- for your love and support.
It is a huge blessing to our family.


  1. Each child brings his own challenges and his own blessings. There's joy in the journey!

  2. Great post! I remember how excited I was when our facilitator emailed us our petition to adopt a specific child. I opened the document to find "our" child's given name written there. My heart leaped, and, like you, I instantly felt closer to her.

    I'm a bit partial to the name Fischer since it was my maiden name. And my mom always loved last names as first names for little boys. I can't wait to watch this journey unfold!

  3. I echo what Kathy C. says above! Well said! Each child is different, as you already know, but you will find your way as you have with all your wonderful children.

  4. There is no better home for them then yours...thank you for your open heart and love for orphans. Even when i'm an atheist, i admire you so very much, if all christians were like you the world would be a beautiful place.

  5. I donated 20 for the puzzle pieces. We have hanging on our wall a puzzle that contains on the back all the people who lovingly brought our rock star home. I love puzzle fundraisers!

  6. Well, I love the names Anatoly and Bogdan.... The nickname for the first is "Tolik"; and I'm not sure about the other. I think it means "gift of God" though.

    Ilya recently asked to be called "Silas" - I hadn't given the other kids (except Anastasia) an American name, only Craig's name as a patronymic...I threw down "Silas" without thinking too much, except I always liked it. Likewise, Anastasia asked to be called "Anna"....but she also wants to revert to her Russian last name, strangely. Anna Kulikova. Well....whatever; she's at that age!

  7. Hi!I think names are important .A name gives a person an identity and being a special needs child in an orphanage I am such these children did not get as much attention as they needed and they did not have much of an identity. I think the foreign countries try but they do not have the resources to meet the needs of special needs children. I am sure when you see them you will have the name they were meant to have.Pat


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