Thursday, June 21, 2012

Trusting

Faith.  All you need is a little bit.  The Lord is able to take that little bit and do amazing things with it.
I know this to be true.
And it is by grace that He does this.  Because He loves us so much.
I know this to be true too.
See. . . yesterday I was having a pretty down day.  So much seemed to be weighing down on me that it was hard to have hope.  It was hard for me to have faith and trust that we would ever get home.
Oh sure, I had some faith and hope, but my tank was emptying pretty quickly.
All I could do was cling to this verse.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5

I don't know about you, but when life seems tough, and I feel this gloom hovering above me, things seem to be so much worse than they really are.  As I yearned to get my boys out of the baby house and home with the rest of the family, I felt that the hope of that happening was being taken from me as I heard the news that we might not get the birth certificates in 1-3 days.

Then with the news that we would need more money,  I was very discouraged.

Last night I went to bed early and just prayed and prayed for renewed strength and hope.
With my worldly thoughts, I really couldn't figure out how things were going to magically be better in the morning, but I knew that the only one who could get the job done is our Loving Father in Heaven.

Well, he didn't let me down.
I woke up feeling better.  My burden was lighter.  My spirits were lifted.
I do have much to rejoice in.
We all do.

As I checked my email, I found some very encouraging words from friends and family.
They brought smiles to my faces as I read each one.  It was as if I could reach into the screen and touch them, they felt so close.
The body of Christ is an amazing group of people.  It is hard to explain how I can feel so close to brothers and sisters in Christ, yet I do.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We went to visit the boys today.  Nolan was happy to see us.  He understands that I am his Mama and Rachel is his sister.  He is beginning to understand that we have a connection.  When I went to take Oliver up to his groupa to eat, Nolan wanted to follow me.  He even lied and said he had to go potty just so that he could follow me upstairs.   Ya sure, the lying part isn't so good, but the thought that he wanted to keep dibs on me is precious.

Oliver is still congested.  No one seems to notice.  When he is outside, he feels hotter than usual.  And I hardly see him sweat.  Is this normal?  Hopefully he sweats and I just haven't noticed it or aren't looking in the right folds-- LOL.  Hopefully no one seems concerned about his congestion because it is just allergies.   Please keep him in your prayers.  The sooner we can get him home, the better.  
Did I mention that he is a major cuddle bug?  He is content sucking on his tongue sitting in my lap.  I still haven't heard him cry.  I'm thinking of pinching him just to hear it. ;)  Now that I have gotten to spend time with all the babies, I am convinced that he is the second biggest baby in the groupa!  And yet they all eat the same sized portions, so go figure.  He is less active than the rest of the babies but that is slowly changing.  I'm betting he sheds a few pounds once he is home and starts crawling.

After our visit with the boys, we took the marshootka back to the city center.  We did something really adventurous by sitting up front next to the driver.   It was actually much nicer since we had a direct breeze from the open window and no one to bother us with stinky armpits.  However I kept thinking as the engine revved louder than ever for half a mile, "When's he gonna shift!  He better hurry up and shift!"  The drivers sure are hard on the engines here.

John was able to give me some pointers about finding an ATM to pull out some money.  Bless his heart.  He aways manages to be my knight in shining armor.  
It's crazy I know, but I have a personal problem obsessing over the outrageous fees that some banks charge.  With many mouths to feed, I take pride in avoiding them at all costs.  It makes me feel like a better steward of the money that God has given us through John's job.  I avoid the bank fees at all costs so using an ATM here has stretched me in ways I did not want to be stretched.  

I was able to pull out only a portion of what we need because of limits, but it is a start.  It was bittersweet having the extra money in my hands.  In one way, I feel that I have now increased our chances of getting home sooner and on the other hand I feel like I have flushed money down the toilet.   But the fact that I bit the bullet and just did it, I am sure makes my hubby smile.  I bet he wondered if I would actually do it. :)

I saw that someone donated $50 to our grant fund.  How amazing is that?  I think that will cover those outrageous bank fees.  Oh how the Lord works.  Makes me smile knowing how creative our God is.  Certainly not on my own understanding.

Thanks for following along and for taking the time to leave me a comment.   Blessings.

14 comments:

  1. Hey Christine,

    I know how you feel! Just got back form China where I had the flu, broke my toe and had a new child that would only let me hold her and who's cleft issues looked much worse in person. I too came to a point where I could only pray for God to life my spirits. I prayed that I learned whatever it was God was trying to teach me through the experience. I hope I did cuz I wouldn't want to go through that again! What is God trying to show you? It can only be good!

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  2. Hang in there, Christine! You are doing exactly what God wants you to do so you know he is going to give you exactly what you need to get the job done. Keep trusting in him, keep praying, keep reading your Bible. I am praying that God will give you strength, perseverance and any thing else you need to get your boys home!

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  3. Look forward to your posts. As a mother of a Ukrainian princess..lol..reading your blog makes one not feel so alone in the challenges that can come with international adoptions. You are such a strong and faithful mother! I am praying that things go smoothly for a quick return home to your family....along with two beautiful boys! God bless!

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  4. Such blessed news Christine!! I will continue to be praying for you guys. If you want, you can check my blog --- Jonathan finally got his prosthetic eye!!! He calls it his "matching eye!" It looks great. It brought joy to my heart to read this post this morning! I felt the same way when we were in Ukraine....that we'd never, ever get home, but now it's all a blur. I know you know that from many experiences, way more than me :).

    Keep looking up, the Lord will never leave you or forsake you!

    Love,
    Allison

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  5. I glad you are feeling better! It's hard to be in different country, away from your family. When we choose to adopt, we do sacrifice a lot. And you do know that every step, every penny is so worse it, and soon two little boys will be home with their mommy. :) We also had few extra spending's. Sergey had to pay extra for passports to speed up a process a little, also there was a few mistakes with birth certificates, and it did made us sweat a little :) We do really appreciate our facilitator, I can say that he is the best! He does amazing work.

    we are praying for you, and the rest of the process. Hang in there! No problem, about stroller, you will need it more on your trip out of the country, then we did. Be blessed

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  6. I will not express my feelings about Banks and Government here - only to say that our government here is not too much better. The Middle Class is being phased out just like other countries.

    But there is joy and nice, positive things in life - one of them is reading about good people like you! It gives a person hope!!!

    "This too shall pass..." You will be home soon! :)

    I am in the minority here, have no children...but it does sound like the baby needs to be seen by your good doctor. They can run some tests for his congestion and why he is a quiet baby.

    Don't give up!!!

    Meanwhile, here at John's work, we have a very big part being taken out of a read big machine in the plant!!! I wanna see, I wanna see!! But not possible.... waaaaah!!! I dig stuff like that! The new part is supposed to come in tomorrow!

    Jennifer Duzmanovich
    Yucaipa, CA

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  7. I can only quickly comment. I cracked up..our first son NEVER cried....he was AWAYS awake...which we see now was not a sign of fin things to come..but anyhow..I remember my DH wearing him on a BB...all nice sung on dad's chest..and I came up on side of him and growled the loudest grow. My husband looked at me like I was nuts...that my friends is the first time I heard our baby cry..i swear he was like 4 months old...lol:) mean mean mommy

    Liz

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  8. HI Christine...your post made me think of a worship song. "God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see; he will make a way for me. He will be my guide and hold me closely to his side, with love and strength for each new day he will make a way; he will make a way."
    It must be wonderful to see Nolan and Oliver everyday...counting down the days until they are released and you are heading home. :)
    Catherine

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  9. Christine,

    I am remembering our time in Ukraine. It can be so stressful when things are out of your hands. Especially when things are slow!! I remember waking up in the middle of the night on many occasions having a little "freaking out" party! I would cry and pray and just get anxious about everything. But in the morning God took all my anxiety away and I would start a new day with a smile.

    I pray you are continuing to rest in HIM. I can be sooo sooo hard! I feel for you. Keep your chin up and I will pray for a speedy move home. I am sure your kids miss you tons. Love the pictures of the boys. VERY SWEET!!

    Blessings,
    Sue

    PS I am not much of a sweaty kind of person either. Even when I am hot, I would just get red and not sweat. It is weird, but it is how I am. There may be something more to it that you will find out when you get home, but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

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  10. I sent you "encouragement" through your grant fund! And an email to try and encourage you too. Hang in there, trust God and you, Rachel and the boys will be home soon! I enjoy hearing about your visits!

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  11. Hello, Christine
    I want to tell you how much I am proud of you and praying for you to get back home soon and safe! I just clicked and donated to your fund to show you my support in very little way, but from my heart! Bless you for doing whats right! You have a golden heart! I wish I could be more like you in the way to serve God with all I got! Thank you for adopting these beautiful kids and God bless your family!
    Love,
    Nadia Bgatov

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  12. OH yes the outrageous bank fees....I know them well...I always warn our study abroad students.....

    Nolan sounds like he is attaching very quickly..I am so glad...but I understand your heartache, missing the kids back home..You are impatient, now that the boys are yours, to just get back here already...so are we all!! But that time will come..do not worry...I am glad John is home now...

    HUGS, CHristine...this WILL come to an end and you WILL be home with all your family soon...trust....

    Gina

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  13. I remember the loneliness of being in Russia, which was a much shorter process (in country at least)- missing and worrying about the kids back home. Communication is so hard, it's all so different. You've integrated yourself into the culture much more successfully than we did, even though we did some language study. Just try to make the most of your time there, it's so short in the big scheme of things, you'll be home, and it will become a distant memory, and you'll be with all your kids! This is a happy trip, congratulations!

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  14. Hi! It does not surprise me that the program fees are higher once you got into the country I have heard the same thing happening to other families money does talk and families can walk out of the country faster is some cases. Pat

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Thanks for taking the time to comment! Blessings!